Today I'm going to write about my boyfriend. Every single thing
about him. Not that he cares about it but I just sorta want it in black
and white somewhere. I'm the romantic in the relationship, not him.
Plus, I enjoy writing. As quoted, he's as likely to entertain me with
romance as Bozo the Clown. AKA not happening.
But that's besides the point. So now I'll get started.
-
I'll admit, when I met him for the first time in real life, I had no
idea who he was. I just knew that he was a friend of my friend, Bryant.
So at that point of time, it was nearing Christmas of 2012. Bryant (BT
for short) wanted me to help him pass something to a friend of mine who
was about to fly to Hong Kong and study there. He wasn't free that day,
so he asked James to meet me instead.
He introduced us on Twitter the night before, so James and I tweeted a
little hello to each other out of politeness. But honestly the only
thing that was in my head at that point of time was, "Who the fuck is
this?" James later told me he shared the same sentiments as me. Cracked
me up there.
But anyways, I met him on the 19th of December, if I don't recall
wrongly. A day after his birthday. And wow, did he piss me off real bad.
Since we were supposed to meet at Clementi Mall, BT helped us arrange
the meeting. But when I was upstairs, he was downstairs, and when I went
down, he went up. Annoyed me so badly.
When we finally managed to see each other, I grabbed whatever he had to
give me, muttered a 'Thanks' before rushing off to my next appointment. I
remember it so clearly. He was in full black, black shirt, black pants,
black slippers and his black Crumpler.
He also had a moustache back then 'cause his dad didn't want him to
shave. But other than that, I thought he was pretty cute if you took the
moustache out of the equation.
I didn't think much of it again until we started tweeting each other on
New Years' Eve or something. At that point of time, I had a crush on
someone else and he was involved with this junior in his school. There
wasn't any sort of romance involved – just some good intentions and
friendliness on our part.
I started off the school year well and one fine day, BT added us into a
group for some reason. Just the three of us. And we were like, "Oh, so
this is his/her number. Okay, I'll save it." I started the conversation
with him though, asking him about stuff.
He replied, though in a friendly manner. We found lots of things to talk
about and one of the things I remember was us replying each other with
song lyrics that sounded relevant. It was funny and he played along with
me. We started chatting often, with me taking the initiative.
I asked him out for lunch one day 'cause I felt as if I was sorta
attracted to him (just a little at that time) and he was having trouble
with that junior. So I figured, ' Hey, why not ask him out for lunch to
talk about it?'
He said yes and I was really excited. So we had lunch and stuff (I saw
him in his Sec 2 shorts, how cute) and his friends spotted us at
McDonald's, which prompted them to make suggestive noises and such. I
mean, my friends who were there too also did it.
He had to leave for some interview to be Chairperson for his class or
something, and later at night I asked him if it went successfully. Of
course it did, but I just wanted to talk to him. I asked him out again
two days later to 'help' me with my Math and in exchange I'd help him
with his Chinese.
We went to Clementi Library to study and with me being stupid, I forgot
to bring a jacket. Thankfully he did though, and at one point when I
couldn't take the cold anymore, I asked if I could borrow his jacket. He
gave it to me to put on, and I think that was the moment where I fell
in love with him.
It took me a split second. The way he smiled and how his jacket smelled.
I don't know why, and I don't think I realized it until super later on,
but it was that moment. After that we just kept texting and we met up
occasionally. It was me mostly asking him out though. We started
tweeting song lyrics (mostly Taylor Swift) that went like "I was
enchanted to meet you" and "Sparks Fly" which is pretty
self-explanatory. But it made me really happy, like "oh my god wow he
likes me too I'm so excited I wanna explode" happy. He asked me out for
our first movie (with his sister) on the 29th of January. I still have
the ticket stub!
I enjoyed the movie. It was the Chinese New Year period and we also
texted throughout the entire period where I was doing my Bai Nian at my
relatives' house.
I felt myself falling fast and hard for him - because he was so
charming, funny and smart. He seemed to be everything I ever wanted in a
guy. I thought he was sorta romantic too, but he was no sweet talker. I
mean, he did say sweet things, but he meant them. It wasn't the overly
sugarcoated kind, I could tell.
So I also managed to sneakily ask him out for Valentine's Day. Score one
for Valerie. I also met his parents within the first few months of
knowing him because I pissed him off by telling him that 'I wasn't the
sort of girl someone would want to bring home to their parents.'
Being James, he wanted to prove me wrong. And then he brought me to see
his parents. Boy, was I terrified though. Surprisingly his parents were
very nice to me and I felt quite relieved to know that they were 'sorta'
okay with me.
I remember at that point of time, I was very insecure. I wore contacts
all the time and etc. My fashion sense was also terribad. But not like
he minded anyways.
So things just started happening, you know? I did most of the chasing,
but he was attracted anyways. We were both attracted at the first
meeting (he told me he was checking my ass out as I walked away) and I
don't know why, but after meeting him (for the first time) I just
couldn't get him out of my head.
After we started being exclusive to each other, we slowly started to
learn more about the other. He started learning about my eating habits
and my friends and etc while I started to learn about his family, the
way he behaved and such.
It took us a while to become comfortable with each other, but it didn't
take that long either, because I opened myself up to him. I was a flirt,
admittedly - and he didn't like that. He tried to mould me, change me
into something else, and that hurt me for a long time. It wasn't the
"Oh, why are you trying to change me!?" sort of pain, but more of a
long, drawn out sort of pain for me.
Because it's so hard to change your habits, him trying to mould me into
something else hurt. Like how it would feel if he twisted my arm in a
funny direction for a long time, and how I would resist if he did. It
was painful and involved a lot of tears and heartache on my part.
After a while, I learnt that he was no romantic. He'd gladly ask me to
fuck off even when I was apologizing. I remember clearly at one point
where he was really mad at me and I apologized - but he didn't reply.
Instead, he subtweeted on Twitter that I was a mood ruiner.
I remember it all clearly. He's not one to soften his words, he's direct
and blunt. Up till now his words still hurt me sometimes.
But not all things about him are bad. He's one of the most generous
people I know. He'd give and give and give for the people that he knows,
even when he might not get anything in return. He's a people person.
People flock to him as if attracted to him, like a moth to a flame. He
is the flame, and I am the moth. Many others also flock to him because
he's a natural-born leader. When he wants to be, his presence is
commanding.
He's a natural alpha male, which means that I have to be under his lead.
I'm an alpha female, but in a pack of wolves, even the female listens
to the male. It took me a while to learn how to be independent yet be
under his command. It's a delicate thing and needs careful balancing,
but I've managed to find it in the end.
He's a little like me. Distracted by one thing, and then another. But
then, when he gets distracted, he doesn't forget completely about the
previous thing. He just slowly phases it out or continues it while
starting on his new thing.
For a while, we played a lot of Jubeat and Wangan. Then he discovered
League of Legends, which he also managed to get me into due to him being
on it ALL THE TIME and me feeling neglected + annoyed. Now, he's onto
playing cards (decks) which he's gotten me into too. I guess it's a good thing because it's nice to have new things come into your life - like it's a breath of fresh air. Makes you realize how good the world actually is.
I'm now stuck on watching the professionals play League of Legends - because I want to improve myself. He was the one who introduced me to the game - and subsequently, to the players, which made me start watching the North American LCS (League Championship Series), and it's really interesting. I've upped my play by just watching and I really enjoy seeing how the pros play. It's very intriguing and makes me work my brain faster too... but I digress.
He's also taught me many things, such as focusing on one thing before
moving on to the next. I admit, I'm an airhead sometimes. I know I'm
smart but I tend to jump far too quickly from one thing to another. He
keeps me focused on one and reminds me when I get distracted, so that I
can at least try to unleash any sort of potential I have. He's my
anchor; without him I would just be a boat sailing aimlessly. He gives
me direction in my life, something that I desperately need.
He's also extremely smart. He engages me in conversations where it
stimulates my brain - and I do enjoy a good mind fucking. We could
debate about anything under the skies and we'd happily talk about
anything. The way he talks... it enraptures people. He puts sense into
everything he says when he's being serious. He didn't even bother
studying that hard for O Levels and got A2 for everything.
As his best friend and girlfriend, we talk everyday. Sometimes we chat
like friends, like "Hey, sup, whatcha doin" and sometimes we're like
"Hey bae whatchu doin <3" it's somewhat different everyday. After
getting into poly, I had to adapt to not seeing him almost everyday and
it wasn't easy. Now we still try to find every opportunity to see each
other, be it him dropping by to see me at work or us meeting for dinner
after school.
The amount of passion he has for things surprises me every time. When
he's interested in something, he never stops questioning and trying to
find out more about it. When it came to things like League of Legends -
there were a lot of things to learn. He picked up a lot of things
quickly and then he started practicing and experimenting. Soon he became
the highest ranked amongst all of us. And for his magic tricks - he
would practice over and over again with me until I could find no faults
in his tricks.
He's also a fucking joker. I should stick a joker card on his forehead
permanently. When he's not being serious, he says things like, "Gay,
scrub, noob, motherasshole" to me and it annoys the shit out of me.
There was once where I said, "I love you" to him and he replied with a
"Gay", which pissed me off immensely. I was so mad at him, I swear.
Sometimes when I'm trying to be serious, he refuses to be. It makes me
jack shit mad cause like wHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?
Like what The Fault In Our Stars said, "I fell in love the way you fall
asleep. Slowly, and then all at once." I fell in love with him slowly,
then afterwards I just fell into him so quickly. I was head over heels.
And as of now, I still am. I'd watch that boy for ages. I'm in love with
everything about him. His hands are so big that when he holds my hand, I
feel extremely small and petite. The way he dwarfs me with his broad
shoulders. How my head rests nicely on his chest while he holds me. The
way he smiles at me when he's happy and his kisses make me grin like an
idiot.
He makes me crazy happy. His skin is a little rough on his palm and the
pads of his fingers and it feels really nice when he touches my arm or
face (very rarely). There's always a constant sparkle in his eyes, the
way his eyes light up like fireworks when he talks about something he
loves. The way he twitches his nose when he's annoyed and how he always
likes to lean on my shoulder.
He's strong enough to hoist me over his shoulders fireman style, and I
think that's hot. He's just hot. I love him for his great personality
and brain but I swear his body is a plus. And I always wonder why he has
such big feet. It's terrifying. He also has a really nice ass.
The best thing about him is that when his hair is long, he looks so
fucking handsome. I just wanna kiss him all day all night. I like it
when his hair is long 'cause I can run my fingers through his hair and
tug on it. It's one of my hobbies hehehhe.
I don't know how he does it, but every single day he keeps me
interested. He never lets our relationship get stale. I always manage to
find out new things about him that I previously didn't know about. It's
like he's got me addicted to him and I need a daily fix of him to be
okay. He knows he's got me twisted around his pinky. (Well if he didn't,
he knows now after this post.) All my exes have gotten boring after a
while... but he's kept me interested for a good two years and six
months. Still counting. I'm never going to get tired of his silly antics
or his remarks cause every once in a while, he always brings out
something fresh into our relationship.
We both embrace change pretty well and I guess that's what keeps us
going so well. Changing to suit the times is easy for people like us. We
adapt well to new situations and such, which makes us a great couple.
With him, I see a future. When I first fell in love with him - I
envisioned a future for us together. Sounds creepy, but I knew he was
the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I want to come home
to him and wake up to him every morning. Make him breakfast, tie his
tie, and have his kids. I felt as if when I saw him for the first time -
something in me clicked. Like as if the world shifted into it's
rightful place at that very moment - because that's how things were
meant to be. And it still is.
He's not one to write me letters, buy me gifts or surprise me with
anything. It's not in him. And it makes me sad because I want him to
declare to the world that I'm his, you know and etc. He says he doesn't
see the need for it, but it'd be nice to hear it anyways. I mean which
girl wouldn't like her boyfriend to buy her gifts to show her that he
appreciates her? Gestures like writing letters and mailing them to your
partner doesn't even cost much money. You may not be very linguistic but
sometimes simplicity is key.
Like maybe getting her what she wants and surprising her with it. I mean
not like she wouldn't love you if you didn't do it, but who doesn't
want some extra lovin'? Wearing or owning something that your boyfriend
gave you - it's simultaneously showing the world that your boyfriend
loves you AND a mark of ownership. It screams "I'm taken" loudly. I know
some people who read this post will ask why I'm complaining when I have
a boyfriend and others don't?
'Cause I want it. Duh. It's human nature to never be satisfied because
we all know that there are things that can be done. Limits that can be
broken. So why wouldn't you set expectations? There is always room for
something else in a relationship. Room for improvement. Room for adding
on new things to a relationship. The question is not 'why', it's 'why
not'?
I hope that he does, but then again hope is a double-edged sword. If it
succeeds, you're on Cloud Nine. But if it doesn't, you're at the bottom
of the pit. I've learnt to not put my hopes up high anymore. Especially
when you directly ask your boyfriend for hearts and flowers and he
replies with a direct no. It's pretty crushing.
But nonetheless I love him. Every single inch of him, even the annoying
parts. Even if he pisses me off bad, I know after a while I'll stop
being mad 'cause I just can't stay angry at that boy. I just hope that he
loves me as much as I love him. And I think I'll always want and need
him a little more than he does for me. It's a good thing. And all that I can say is: I'm a happy girl.
Thanks for loving me, James. And I love you.
