Sometimes all it takes is a stroke of change to disrupt what seems like a flowing stream of good vibes. Imagine picking up a stone and throwing it at someone. That stone hits the person and cracks his skull. This then affects his wife, who is now in agony, which in turn affects the children because they are neglected due to their mother's grief.
But if you dropped the stone, then nothing would change... for now. So always remember, everything you do has consequences. And what consequences you get, you need to be able to pay the price.
I've seen too many things happen and then fall apart because of a split second decision. And I'm terrified because everything seems so... blurry. Unknown. Even I don't know what my actions might bring about - so I'm extremely careful with my affections.
I don't ever want to lead someone on, or have to break anyone's heart needlessly. I don't want to hug someone if I don't truly like them, because it might give them false hope.
Don't leave people hanging, because karma is real and it will get you. For every heart you break - someday you will feel the same agonizing pain that you've inflicted on that person. Maybe you've felt it already or perhaps you haven't - eventually it'll come.
So it's always good to be distanced from people that aren't going to be very prominent in your life. Less attachment = less feelings. If they get attached to you without you leading them on (unlikely, but still could happen) then push them away before they fall hard.
-
I find myself reflecting upon a lot of things a lot of the time nowadays. Because now I have a lot of time to myself when I go home alone (which is very nice) and it lets me think.
I remember the days when I had packed schedules - going out every day, hanging out with so many different friends. I don't miss it, honestly. And I remember when I was younger - all I wanted was to be in the spotlight. I tried too hard sometimes, admittedly. But I've come to the conclusion that if I'm meant to be in the spotlight - it'll happen eventually.
I've seen too many things happen to the people who live under the constant scrutiny of commonplace people like us. And I don't agree with the comments made by them most of the time - because they're usually baselessly judging the person under the spotlight.
It's a bad feeling and I've never liked it. I guess I am sort of thankful for not being popular or whatever - because there's no unwanted attention on me. I'm plain ole me with my pimple plantation face and scarred body. And you know what? I'm kinda happy with it.
I'm also more of a private person now - because for me, it came with maturity. I have a past, and so does everyone else. I'm not ashamed of it, but I'd rather not talk about it. And this means not giving out too much information about my life - who knows, someone might be collecting all that information, waiting for the right moment to attack me with something that I've perhaps said. It's happened before, so better safe than sorry for me.
-
I've learnt over the years that it's not healthy to want someone who doesn't want you - in the sense of being in a relationship. Be it friends or a couple. I'm not going to strain myself over whether or not someone else thinks I'm worth it, because most of the time, that person who's telling me that I'm not needed is usually insignificant in my life anyways.
The people who I am close with need me as much as I need them. It's something mutual, so I never have to worry about it. Don't apply this if you're chasing someone though - you never know what might happen if you keep trying. I've heard tales of the guy getting the girl even after multiple rejections - because his perseverance touched her.
Know when to apply information appropriately and you'll go far in life.
-
The holidays are coming! Do you have anything planned to do with your friends? I'm probably going to work, hang out with friends or stay at home and game my days away. What else can I do, right? (Studying? What's that?)
I spent my previous weekend (counting last friday night *cue Katy Perry*) with James' old FMSS friends who have mostly gone to JC. I just want to extend my thanks towards Samuel and his family who have given me warm welcomes and for the fabulous pizza on Friday night. I'm super excited for my holidays so yeah... wheehee. Life is pretty much A+ right now, and I'm lovin' it.
I hope you enjoy yours too :)
