I don't know how many people have experienced extreme poverty in Singapore... but there are SOME who eke out a living by collecting cardboard and selling them, or drink cans. I'm not going to talk about them today, but more of my father. Also a Father's Day tribute to my daddy for being the best.
My dad grew up in a poor family, with 3 older brothers and 4 older sisters. Being the youngest, he was doted on. But his family lived in poverty, and they lived off scraps of food. He told me that there was this supermarket that he lived by, and that the supermarket threw out fruits that were rotten (even a little bit rotten on the side) into baskets behind, and that he and his siblings would go there and pick up the fruits, bring them home and wash them clean before cutting off the rotten parts and eating them.
But they were happy. And honestly, that surprises me a lot because nowadays people get really unhappy when they don't have money. I'm no exception, I'm really sad when I run out of $$$ in my wallet/ bank. My dad also grew up being a hippie. Hippie, not hipster. He had long hair and tattoos but never did drugs. His friends did though, and I remember when he told me he got caught alongside his friend 'cause his long hair made him look suspicious. I couldn't stop laughing afterwards.
My grandma doted on him a LOT and always gave him money even though they were poor. He told me that before he went off to the army, my grandma gave him some money to get his hair cut. He still had long hair then, but he returned the money to my grandma without using it 'cause he didn't want to get his hair snipped off. Eventually he went to the army and *snip snip* it was gone. He lamented to me about how he should've spent the money anyway, but he was a good son.
He told me about how swims at Tanjong Pagar's old swimming pool costed only 10 cents, and renting the swimming trunks cost only 5 cents. Right now he's telling me it's not the Speedo undies (the triangle ones) but the shorts. So cute right? He also told me about how he ate in primary school; he would buy a bowl of noodles, then finish it and go back to the auntie for an entire bowl of soup for only 5 cents. If with char siew, 10 cents.
But times are different now, and he saw it all. He saw the inflation, the independence of Singapore... me, the 1997 haze, then y2k and the 2008 financial crisis... and then here we are. And that's made him into a man that's weathered the worst. His skin is dark from working for forty over years in the sun and the lorry, and his hair is thinning a little now. But when he smiles there's that sparkle in his eyes and I love seeing him flash his smile at me, because he's the best man in the world to me. My #1 man for the rest of my life.
He's my provider and somewhat my best friend. I always confide in him and I like calling him and listening to his voice. He nags but I take his nagging without any complaints because it's not the sort that scolds you, but more of a loving chide. He also always disturbs me when I call him/ when he calls me. It's our father-daughter thing. I've always been closer to my dad than my mum - I'm a true daddy's girl.
And I'd like to take this chance to say thank you to my dad for taking such good care of me and teaching me so many life lessons that I won't forget for the days to come. You've told me a lot of stories and passed on the lessons YOU'VE learnt as a teenager to me, so I wouldn't end up doing the same thing.
You're the best, daddy. I love you.
Friday, 20 June 2014
Tuesday, 10 June 2014
Butterfly Effect
Sometimes all it takes is a stroke of change to disrupt what seems like a flowing stream of good vibes. Imagine picking up a stone and throwing it at someone. That stone hits the person and cracks his skull. This then affects his wife, who is now in agony, which in turn affects the children because they are neglected due to their mother's grief.
But if you dropped the stone, then nothing would change... for now. So always remember, everything you do has consequences. And what consequences you get, you need to be able to pay the price.
I've seen too many things happen and then fall apart because of a split second decision. And I'm terrified because everything seems so... blurry. Unknown. Even I don't know what my actions might bring about - so I'm extremely careful with my affections.
I don't ever want to lead someone on, or have to break anyone's heart needlessly. I don't want to hug someone if I don't truly like them, because it might give them false hope.
Don't leave people hanging, because karma is real and it will get you. For every heart you break - someday you will feel the same agonizing pain that you've inflicted on that person. Maybe you've felt it already or perhaps you haven't - eventually it'll come.
So it's always good to be distanced from people that aren't going to be very prominent in your life. Less attachment = less feelings. If they get attached to you without you leading them on (unlikely, but still could happen) then push them away before they fall hard.
-
I find myself reflecting upon a lot of things a lot of the time nowadays. Because now I have a lot of time to myself when I go home alone (which is very nice) and it lets me think.
I remember the days when I had packed schedules - going out every day, hanging out with so many different friends. I don't miss it, honestly. And I remember when I was younger - all I wanted was to be in the spotlight. I tried too hard sometimes, admittedly. But I've come to the conclusion that if I'm meant to be in the spotlight - it'll happen eventually.
I've seen too many things happen to the people who live under the constant scrutiny of commonplace people like us. And I don't agree with the comments made by them most of the time - because they're usually baselessly judging the person under the spotlight.
It's a bad feeling and I've never liked it. I guess I am sort of thankful for not being popular or whatever - because there's no unwanted attention on me. I'm plain ole me with my pimple plantation face and scarred body. And you know what? I'm kinda happy with it.
I'm also more of a private person now - because for me, it came with maturity. I have a past, and so does everyone else. I'm not ashamed of it, but I'd rather not talk about it. And this means not giving out too much information about my life - who knows, someone might be collecting all that information, waiting for the right moment to attack me with something that I've perhaps said. It's happened before, so better safe than sorry for me.
-
I've learnt over the years that it's not healthy to want someone who doesn't want you - in the sense of being in a relationship. Be it friends or a couple. I'm not going to strain myself over whether or not someone else thinks I'm worth it, because most of the time, that person who's telling me that I'm not needed is usually insignificant in my life anyways.
The people who I am close with need me as much as I need them. It's something mutual, so I never have to worry about it. Don't apply this if you're chasing someone though - you never know what might happen if you keep trying. I've heard tales of the guy getting the girl even after multiple rejections - because his perseverance touched her.
Know when to apply information appropriately and you'll go far in life.
-
The holidays are coming! Do you have anything planned to do with your friends? I'm probably going to work, hang out with friends or stay at home and game my days away. What else can I do, right? (Studying? What's that?)
I spent my previous weekend (counting last friday night *cue Katy Perry*) with James' old FMSS friends who have mostly gone to JC. I just want to extend my thanks towards Samuel and his family who have given me warm welcomes and for the fabulous pizza on Friday night. I'm super excited for my holidays so yeah... wheehee. Life is pretty much A+ right now, and I'm lovin' it.
I hope you enjoy yours too :)
But if you dropped the stone, then nothing would change... for now. So always remember, everything you do has consequences. And what consequences you get, you need to be able to pay the price.
I've seen too many things happen and then fall apart because of a split second decision. And I'm terrified because everything seems so... blurry. Unknown. Even I don't know what my actions might bring about - so I'm extremely careful with my affections.
I don't ever want to lead someone on, or have to break anyone's heart needlessly. I don't want to hug someone if I don't truly like them, because it might give them false hope.
Don't leave people hanging, because karma is real and it will get you. For every heart you break - someday you will feel the same agonizing pain that you've inflicted on that person. Maybe you've felt it already or perhaps you haven't - eventually it'll come.
So it's always good to be distanced from people that aren't going to be very prominent in your life. Less attachment = less feelings. If they get attached to you without you leading them on (unlikely, but still could happen) then push them away before they fall hard.
-
I find myself reflecting upon a lot of things a lot of the time nowadays. Because now I have a lot of time to myself when I go home alone (which is very nice) and it lets me think.
I remember the days when I had packed schedules - going out every day, hanging out with so many different friends. I don't miss it, honestly. And I remember when I was younger - all I wanted was to be in the spotlight. I tried too hard sometimes, admittedly. But I've come to the conclusion that if I'm meant to be in the spotlight - it'll happen eventually.
I've seen too many things happen to the people who live under the constant scrutiny of commonplace people like us. And I don't agree with the comments made by them most of the time - because they're usually baselessly judging the person under the spotlight.
It's a bad feeling and I've never liked it. I guess I am sort of thankful for not being popular or whatever - because there's no unwanted attention on me. I'm plain ole me with my pimple plantation face and scarred body. And you know what? I'm kinda happy with it.
I'm also more of a private person now - because for me, it came with maturity. I have a past, and so does everyone else. I'm not ashamed of it, but I'd rather not talk about it. And this means not giving out too much information about my life - who knows, someone might be collecting all that information, waiting for the right moment to attack me with something that I've perhaps said. It's happened before, so better safe than sorry for me.
-
I've learnt over the years that it's not healthy to want someone who doesn't want you - in the sense of being in a relationship. Be it friends or a couple. I'm not going to strain myself over whether or not someone else thinks I'm worth it, because most of the time, that person who's telling me that I'm not needed is usually insignificant in my life anyways.
The people who I am close with need me as much as I need them. It's something mutual, so I never have to worry about it. Don't apply this if you're chasing someone though - you never know what might happen if you keep trying. I've heard tales of the guy getting the girl even after multiple rejections - because his perseverance touched her.
Know when to apply information appropriately and you'll go far in life.
-
The holidays are coming! Do you have anything planned to do with your friends? I'm probably going to work, hang out with friends or stay at home and game my days away. What else can I do, right? (Studying? What's that?)
I spent my previous weekend (counting last friday night *cue Katy Perry*) with James' old FMSS friends who have mostly gone to JC. I just want to extend my thanks towards Samuel and his family who have given me warm welcomes and for the fabulous pizza on Friday night. I'm super excited for my holidays so yeah... wheehee. Life is pretty much A+ right now, and I'm lovin' it.
I hope you enjoy yours too :)
Thursday, 5 June 2014
Deadly Nightshade.
I'll start off with this post by telling you that there's nothing I miss more than seeing and spending time regularly with my secondary school friends. They're right, it's always your secondary school you'll miss more than anything, even if it sucked because that's where you meet your true friends. The ones who become your ride or die, the people who you know will always be there for you.
There's nobody that will have a smooth ride in secondary school... because that's where we transform. Where from an adolescent, we slowly begin to mature through all our fights and troubles into a teenager, where living in the moment means more than thinking about what the consequences would be. Where we take for granted our education - we skip school. We miss classes, refuse to do our homework and eat/ text in class all we want. It's all part of the experience... one you'll learn to cherish. I know I miss mine dearly.
I thought that secondary school was tiring, boy was I wrong. I used to go home at 2-4pm every day for secondary school - now in poly, I finish earliest 3:30 every day. I reach home at timings like 7-9pm for almost every single day. But I'm not complaining, you know why? Because right now I'm living the life I've always wanted - in a way.
Polytechnic life is anything but relaxing when it comes to workload - but you find that you have bits and pieces of time here and there to simply do what you want. YouTube videos, writing, listening to the music you love while working on your assignments/ projects... it's these little things that make your life much more relaxed. Snapchats in class, tweeting your friend when you're next to each other staring at your respective screens, webcamming your friend who's two blocks away from you in your own poly - these things... they make me happy.
I know it's a pain in the ass to have to choose different outfits everyday for the people who are fashion conscious - but I feel great when I get to pick what I want to wear. Of course I still miss my IJ Blue, can't deny it. It'll always be a very big part of my life, after all - I've worn that for ten whole years of my life.
-
I find myself smiling a lot nowadays because I'm meant to be where I am now, or at least I believe so. I smile when I hear the gravel crunching below the car tyres, and the sounds of milk being steamed as I happily work on the drinks at my workplace. I laugh when I want to and cry when I have to.
Though I have to admit that I do feel lost sometimes when I see my classmates hanging out with their other friends, but at the end of the day they're great people and I still have Prescillia in RP for company. We see each other almost EVERY DAY of the week and I love it. Poly has also made me start on my own fitness regime but I'm terribad at maintaining it oops.
I'm starting to find myself again, my identity and who I want to be. I felt buried during my secondary school days because I couldn't be who I wanted to be. It was a challenge. But now I feel quite free and happy. That's a very good thing that's happened to me.
I've also made lots of new friends in my class - and they all tell me one thing. I'm VERY frank. If I dislike someone, I make it apparent. If I have an opinion - I'm not afraid to voice it out. I asked them if it was a good thing and they said that it was... most of the time. And I'm glad that they've told me that I'm being frank, because that was always my intention. Though I know sometimes honesty hurts, to me, the truth demands to be felt; it demands to be told.
My weekend job also gives me a lot of enjoyment. I'm super excited for Lana Del Rey's newest album launch: Ultraviolence. Three full singles are already out and I'm frothing at the mouth waiting for the rest of her songs, Jesus. I apologize for the fact that I haven't been writing... RP is more tiring than expected.
Reflection journals, quizzes and etc are a pain in my ass. But it's good if I compare it to the workload of my boyfriend, who's taking Psychology in NP. The amount of 1.2k word essays he has to hand in seems endless to me. Plus he can't plagiarize... Copyright's such a bitch sometimes. I'm learning about these also, and apparently I have to take Media Law in year 2. (Fuck my life?)
People think that people in RP have it easy in school - they don't know about the daily presentations and such. I didn't know myself until I entered the school, which surprised me. It's quite fun though, having different groups to work with everyday. We finish our work in school, and all we have left are the RJs and quizzes. There's usually nothing else, which is why we're so free after school most of the time.
I've been getting questions on why James and I took a "short break". Honestly for the first few weeks of school, we weren't able to spend a lot of time together. Meeting new friends and all - it was a heady experience. Also I had an eyecandy then. James told me to get one if not I would die without looking at a cute boy for a while. (LOL)
Then he started picking on what I did. I hated it. He kept saying things like "Wah play League with boys SIOL", "sia la eyecandy" and etc. It made me feel really scrutinized and I felt as if I was getting suffocated. So the natural instinct - was to run. And so I did, and it hurt both of us.
But thankfully we rebounded back into something stronger. He's back to being the center of my universe - and in a good way.
There's nobody that will have a smooth ride in secondary school... because that's where we transform. Where from an adolescent, we slowly begin to mature through all our fights and troubles into a teenager, where living in the moment means more than thinking about what the consequences would be. Where we take for granted our education - we skip school. We miss classes, refuse to do our homework and eat/ text in class all we want. It's all part of the experience... one you'll learn to cherish. I know I miss mine dearly.
I thought that secondary school was tiring, boy was I wrong. I used to go home at 2-4pm every day for secondary school - now in poly, I finish earliest 3:30 every day. I reach home at timings like 7-9pm for almost every single day. But I'm not complaining, you know why? Because right now I'm living the life I've always wanted - in a way.
Polytechnic life is anything but relaxing when it comes to workload - but you find that you have bits and pieces of time here and there to simply do what you want. YouTube videos, writing, listening to the music you love while working on your assignments/ projects... it's these little things that make your life much more relaxed. Snapchats in class, tweeting your friend when you're next to each other staring at your respective screens, webcamming your friend who's two blocks away from you in your own poly - these things... they make me happy.
I know it's a pain in the ass to have to choose different outfits everyday for the people who are fashion conscious - but I feel great when I get to pick what I want to wear. Of course I still miss my IJ Blue, can't deny it. It'll always be a very big part of my life, after all - I've worn that for ten whole years of my life.
-
I find myself smiling a lot nowadays because I'm meant to be where I am now, or at least I believe so. I smile when I hear the gravel crunching below the car tyres, and the sounds of milk being steamed as I happily work on the drinks at my workplace. I laugh when I want to and cry when I have to.
Though I have to admit that I do feel lost sometimes when I see my classmates hanging out with their other friends, but at the end of the day they're great people and I still have Prescillia in RP for company. We see each other almost EVERY DAY of the week and I love it. Poly has also made me start on my own fitness regime but I'm terribad at maintaining it oops.
I'm starting to find myself again, my identity and who I want to be. I felt buried during my secondary school days because I couldn't be who I wanted to be. It was a challenge. But now I feel quite free and happy. That's a very good thing that's happened to me.
I've also made lots of new friends in my class - and they all tell me one thing. I'm VERY frank. If I dislike someone, I make it apparent. If I have an opinion - I'm not afraid to voice it out. I asked them if it was a good thing and they said that it was... most of the time. And I'm glad that they've told me that I'm being frank, because that was always my intention. Though I know sometimes honesty hurts, to me, the truth demands to be felt; it demands to be told.
My weekend job also gives me a lot of enjoyment. I'm super excited for Lana Del Rey's newest album launch: Ultraviolence. Three full singles are already out and I'm frothing at the mouth waiting for the rest of her songs, Jesus. I apologize for the fact that I haven't been writing... RP is more tiring than expected.
Reflection journals, quizzes and etc are a pain in my ass. But it's good if I compare it to the workload of my boyfriend, who's taking Psychology in NP. The amount of 1.2k word essays he has to hand in seems endless to me. Plus he can't plagiarize... Copyright's such a bitch sometimes. I'm learning about these also, and apparently I have to take Media Law in year 2. (Fuck my life?)
People think that people in RP have it easy in school - they don't know about the daily presentations and such. I didn't know myself until I entered the school, which surprised me. It's quite fun though, having different groups to work with everyday. We finish our work in school, and all we have left are the RJs and quizzes. There's usually nothing else, which is why we're so free after school most of the time.
I've been getting questions on why James and I took a "short break". Honestly for the first few weeks of school, we weren't able to spend a lot of time together. Meeting new friends and all - it was a heady experience. Also I had an eyecandy then. James told me to get one if not I would die without looking at a cute boy for a while. (LOL)
Then he started picking on what I did. I hated it. He kept saying things like "Wah play League with boys SIOL", "sia la eyecandy" and etc. It made me feel really scrutinized and I felt as if I was getting suffocated. So the natural instinct - was to run. And so I did, and it hurt both of us.
But thankfully we rebounded back into something stronger. He's back to being the center of my universe - and in a good way.
Subscribe to:
Posts
(
Atom
)