I do think that I have a superiority complex for the people I hate. And I think it's how I function. 10 years of all girls... it really does warp your mind. Maybe without IJ, I might have developed this complex anyway... though I think it wouldn't even be THIS severe.
I know it's one of the worst things to do. To think that you're superior to someone else, to think that you're better because you hate them. But what if it was to survive without mentally collapsing? I think that if I had stayed truly kind and all like Cinderella, I might be in a psychiatric facility right now.
Because even if you are kind, the world is not. And it works in strange and mysterious ways - ways that we all cannot fathom. Most of the time, it is unfair. And as humans we have learnt to deal with things, but everyone does so differently. This superiority complex is a survival skill, not just something to soothe your broken ego.
If I hate you, then just know that I think I am superior to you. But it takes a lot for me to truly hate someone. I am the kind of person to give chances again, and again, though it's unhealthy. I've decided that from now on, I'll be more careful about the friends that I make, and the people I'm currently acquaintances with.
The things that hurt the most are the people that you truly cared about. And knowing that your sincerity was unappreciated is probably one of the most painful things ever. I will always have my hang ups about friends/friendships now, and I think that will be one of the hardest parts to overcome.
But of course, I'm grateful that I no longer have parasites in my life, and having learnt my lesson, I'll be able to weed out more in the future. Here's to growing up, responsibilities, turning 18 and being wiser. Cheers.
