I only write when I'm happy or upset. There is no other exception. Writers write as an outlet to their feelings, things that they cannot humanly express without ridicule or weird stares. There are people who understand them, but those people will not demand to hear it from the writer. Instead, they understand that people like us have to write to release whatever we hold in us - because that is how we create our version of art.
Art comes in many forms. It can come in drawings, paintings, scriptures, calligraphy - but my favourite form of art is writing, because I'm proficient in it. Of course, everyone loves art, and whoever is literate can read. But not everyone can understand what is written - which is what makes it art. Not everyone can see a painting and understand what it is - can I understand what the Mona Lisa means? No, but I know that it is a great art piece by Da Vinci.
Some days I just like to sit alone and stare into space and lose myself in my head, though I'm not sure if it's a very nice place to be. Some days it is, some days it's the worst place to be. I like being alone, but not lonely. And often those two blur across the lines into each other, which makes me confused. And if 2015 has taught me anything, it's that I should never be too careful with the friends I make and the people that I associate myself with.
Some people say it's healthy to be alone - some shun it like it's a disease that they never want to get. I support the former. I went to watch a movie alone today because I could, and because I wanted to. I was supposed to watch it with James, but we fought and I decided that there was no crime in watching a movie alone.
I do things alone all the time. I eat at McDonald's alone, I eat at KFC alone, I go home alone. And it is times like these that keep me sane. I used to be a person who couldn't stand the thought of being alone - although I was alone most of the time, with my parents working and me being a single child. But as I grow older, I'm starting to take it as a blessing. I like the serenity and peace that being alone brings, and also it allows me to be independent.
And with age, comes loss. But not everyone you lose is a loss. There are some people that you learn - are a good riddance when it comes to actually pulling out weeds in your life. Some were plants that have since wilted away, some were parasites, clinging on with every bit of strength they had. But I've finally had the strength to be able to shift away from what has been choking me up, and finally I can breathe free.
I've found bosom friends in A'bidah, Juhria and Natasha. They give nothing but positive vibes and that's what I need in my life. And since I've been cut off from some people, I wish them nothing but the best. And though I've been a shitty classmate, I'm thankful for the people that I've met in Sem 2 of Year 1. You guys have been great friends and even better classmates.
It's officially the holidays for me, since I had to take UT4 for Effective Communications due to a really bad fever last Friday. Don't know if I want to get a job or not, I just feel so tired. Natasha is flying off tonight to Paris - I'm beyond envious, but I hope she has fun there. She says it's nothing much but y'know, I've never been there so... I hope to one day go to Paris. With James and my friends. Maybe it'll be fun. And Amsterdam too. Visit the TFIOS bench or something.
